My name is Ryan Ferris. I am a PROFESSIONAL comedy writer who has sold THOUSANDS of knock-knock jokes to my niece.

If you like my blog, here are some things you could do:

• Follow me on Twitter. 
• Build a creepy shrine to me in your basement. Nothing fancy — just some candles, a little incense, maybe a few photos of my face with the eyes cut out. (I promise I won’t file a restraining order.)